Secular AZ believes that the information in this Beehiiv publication is important enough that we keep it free to everyone. If you’re enjoying this newsletter for free, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription!

Hey there, Secular Fam! January is more than halfway over, and the AZ legislature is already in WEEK THREE! 

It’s been over a month since the Epstein files were supposed to be released, and less than 1% have been released. 

It’s almost like there’s something in there that far too many wealthy and powerful people in the US don’t want us to see. 

Let’s just take a look at some of the very serious actions that have come from the White House since the December 19th deadline: 

Whew. And that’s only a third of the other ridiculous stuff that this really great tracker has listed. 

All that AND MORE happened in just one month, and I didn’t even list the really fucked up thing that happened right after the Epstein files were supposed to be released: the DOJ halted $90 million in funding for organizations that support victims of human trafficking. 

Yup, the pro-birthers that vote against social safety nets like subsidized healthcare, paid leave, childcare, and housing are the same people who claim to care about child sexual abuse (CSA) and sex-trafficking. They are also the very same people who halted funding for those caught up in trafficking rings. 

Some of you may have listened to the series of interviews with alleged Epstein victim, Sascha Riley. If even a tenth of the allegations Mr Riley claims are true, there are some really sick child rapists and murderers in very powerful positions in this country. 

At this point, I can only assume that people from every political persuasion, from celebrities to world leaders are on that list because nothing else makes sense. 

If you’ve ever been to the Twin Cities (and really, most Midwestern cities) you know that the term “Minnesota nice” can be applied to many different Midwestern municipalities. We’re just nice people. We care about our neighbors. We help them with a tow when their car veers off into a ditch when the roads are icy. We bring over a hot dish when someone is going through difficult times. We stand up when we see injustice in our communities. 

Renee Good and Alex Pretti represent the best of us as Americans. In both cases, they acted as legal observers because armed goons have been terrorizing their communities because the current regime is willing to murder people rather than release the Epstein files. Federal agents arrived early in the morning to terrorize their neighbors of color. 

Pretti and Good used their white privilege to stand up to fascism and keep the vulnerable individuals in their community safe. They did the right thing. They were both helpers. The kind that Mr. Rogers told us to look for in difficult situations. 

Now, masked goons are murdering the helpers. In broad daylight. In residential neighborhoods. In America. 

Watching the cultists deny what we’ve all seen with our own eyes is wild, and I finally understand this line from the George Orwell novel, 1984: 

The highest ranking members of the party in charge are all lying in lockstep, and many of their most ardent supporters are parroting the party’s talking points. Suddenly, the Second Amendment isn’t for what they’ve ALWAYS SAID IT WAS FOR. 

These folks enjoy twisting the Constitution to fit their narrative almost as much as they like twisting the bible to suit their political agenda. 

This week, in the House Education Committee, these people will be pushing evangelical extremism onto every public school student in Arizona with HB2266. The folks at Lifewise have been working overtime to turn our schools into indoctrination academies, and now they’re trying to change state statute in Arizona to mandate religious instruction during the school day. 

You know, the people who show up to their local school board meetings, complaining about test scores and kids not mastering state standards now want students to opt out of instructional time focused on state standards. 

These are also the same folks who believe that public school teachers and librarians are “woke” and “indoctrinating children” now want to checks notes indoctrinate children with their very narrow version of Christianity which isn’t Christianity at all, but white Christian nationalism. 

If you haven’t already, be sure to sign in to the Arizona Legislature’s Request to Speak (RTS) feature to let the House education committee members know how you feel about discriminatory, religious indoctrination in our public schools. 

Last week, Democratic House member, Lydia Hernandez (D-LD24) voted to approve a bill that would allow prayer in school board meetings, so if you are her constituent, be sure to send an email ([email protected]) directly to her to let her know that you value secular education and government. She also serves as a board member in the Cartwright School District, so hopefully she has a “come to Jesus” moment or someone challenges her seat in the House and on the school board. 

I know that all of this is hard, Secular FAM. 

Lately, when I consider the shitstorm we currently find ourselves in, I notice I quote a lot of pop culture. Mostly it’s Andor, but lately I find myself quoting Sean Astin in the Goonies: It’s our time, OUR TIME…but it’s all over once we ride up Troy’s bucket” and I know this isn’t an eloquent analogy, so HEAR ME OUT. 

That douchebag Troy is what every one of these micropenis, beta male, cosplaying-cuck cowards were in high school (folk artist Jesse Welles recently NAILED this in a song). They hide behind masks and terrorize nurses and mothers in peaceful residential communities because the head cheerleader turned them down for the homecoming dance twenty years ago and now we’re all paying the price. 

No matter what the party tells us, we know what to do. We ARE the helpers we’ve been waiting for. And remember: Goonies never say “die.”